Testing Testing…

This week has not been a pleasant week. As I stated in a prior post I began detoxing myself from a percocet addiction and it really has not been pretty. I am happy to report that as of this morning I can no longer feel air molecules crashing into my body and cause immense pain. I am also no longer doubled over from intestinal cramping either. Still got nasty nasty bm’s but I would rather have it this way then what it was before. I am still super irritable. I am concerned that this stuff has messed with my mood swings issue. Hubby wanted to hug me last night and the mere thought of anyone touching me pissed me off. Of all things to feel I decided to be pissed off.

Anyone tackling an addiction to alcohol or ciggarettes will tell you that it seems like the universe suddenly shoves crap in your face and makes you deal with things when you are at your most vulnerable. For instance. Sunday I was getting over my period (mid detox…ain’t life grand?). Tuesday I am getting ready to go to class. I am ticked because certain persons in my home whom are responsible for laundry since I am not there to do it….did not have any laundry done and I was down to my last pair of jeans and casual dress shirt. Well as I reach for door knob (GENTLEMEN THIS IS YOUR WARNING TO LEAVE NOW BEFORE I GET GRAPHIC AND MAKE YOU ALL NAUSEAUS) my body decides to purge hidden blood and uterine tissue that it decided to hang on to for two extra days in such force it would make Niagra Falls jealous. So I run knocking over people to get to the bathroom and as I yank down my jeans my beautiful Samsung Omnia TOUCHSCREEN phone pops out my back pocket and into the toilet. I yank it out quickly only to find there is NO BATHROOM TISSUE in there and trying to get your 3 yo to go get some from another bathroom is like talking a lion into not eating you despite the fact it hasn’t eaten in a week. AND as I am cleaning myself up when I finally do get some toilet tissue (and by now its well into the time that the class started) I notice that somehow (and don’t ask me how cause I am absolutely clueless) I got blood on my light blue shirt. So I get cleaned up and spend 15 minutes cleaning off my phone, cussing, trying to find the battery and can’t, throw some shit around and yell and cuss some more. Finally I discover that the phone won’t turn off AND the touchscreen isn’t working. I cry. Along with cussing and throwing some more shit.

I finally get myself calmed down a bit and head to Verizon to see what to do. Fortunatley for me I had gotten the insurance…I am telling you now GET THE INSURANCE! It would have costed me about $400 to replace my phone but since I had insurance I only had to pay $50. And I got it the very next day….Wednesday. Ok so you know….I go about my day in my little fog.

I have also been in this fog. And when I can’t sleep (insomnia is pretty bad right now, I am hoping soon I will be back to my regular insomniac state cause this stuff sucks) or get pissed because of shit happening or cause I dont feel good…..I start thinking about those dam pills. Yes folks, I am still thinking about them and it pisses me off. I don’t like to be controlled by anyone or anything so this bothers me. Even worse, I have considered maybe stocking up on some Jack Daniels and ciggarettes to combat my current addiction. HA! Isn’t my thinking process wonderful!

So my latest test was this morning. Since my phone biffed it I am slowly getting all my numbers back. I looked for my address book at home and can’t find it so I don’t have any of my family’s numbers and that is bad. I have an aunt who lives in Longs, SC…its roughly 10-15 miles from Myrtle Beach SC. So naturally how do I find out about the wildfire….good old morning news. Since I have yet to hear that anyone has died I am sure she is safe I just would really like to know where she is. I contacted another Uncle of mine on Facebook and he is having my dad call me later so that I can find out where she is and blah blah blah.

Ohhh and I forgot yesterdays crappy news. We aren’t going to the beach like we had planned. Some family drama is ensuing and mother in law is really freaking out over her son’s prognosis. I certainly don’t blame her, I don’t know how I would handle hearing one of my babies had cancer. But anyway we were asked not to come so that things wouldn’t be too much for anyone to handle. Hubby is being sweet though. We got a hotel room in Sevierville TN and we are going on an overnight trip. I need to get out of town something feirce. I can’t take being here much more…just a small mini vacation to maybe clear things up and relax…something. I dunno.

So through all that bitching I am going to kind of leave it positively. I have lost 5 lbs since Monday. I am trying to do South Beach diet. The only problem is I haven’t wanted to eat so I have eaten very little. Oh well, I will take it in stride and be proud of those 5 lbs of water weight I lost.


~ by alegna75 on April 23, 2009.

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