I Am A Carjacker!
Bet you didn’t know that. Hell, I didn’t know that until this morning.
I had decided to leave uber early this morning. The plan was to grab breakfast and get to school where I could cram for my exam in peace and quiet. Just a bit from the house I get behind a tore up Toyota Camry (I think) and I notice that the back right wheel is about to fall off. I ain’t joking, that sucker was wobbling so bad it made the car bounce. Now me being the Good Samaritan that I am hopped out of my car at the next red light. I ran up to the window and scared the beejebus out of the woman in the car. Now she had to be mid – 40’s, definetly not elderly. Anyway she slammed the locks down on the door and started screaming at me to “Go Away”. Meanwhile I am screaming at her “Your tire is gonna fall off. Shut up lady your tire is gonna fall off”. Well she throws her purse around until her cell phone comes flying out and starts dialing. I figure now is a good time to just forget about it. I get back in my car and turn on my right turn signal to take a side street towards school (and McD’s is just past the school). Chick never turns her signal on BUT goes down that side street when light turns green. I decide to distance myself because I just KNOW her tire is gonna fall off at any minute. So after a ways I realize we are going in the same direction, apparently she did too. Just about the time I go past the college (on my way to McD’s) here come the blue lights. Yea, she called the cops on me! So they ask for my license and start sternly questioning me on why I was following her. I explain where I am going and further explain what I was trying to tell her. All this time another cop car had arrived and were taking her statement, keeping us seperated. I can hear her yelling….yes yelling….that I was trying to carjack her. Ok look, my car isn’t in the best of shape. But I would be damned if I was gonna pass up my comfy Trooper for her crap-ass Toyota…just saying! Anyway cops came to their senses and had her move her car to see if her tire was monkeyed up. Wah–lahhhh I was vindicated! Cops let me go and started working on calming her down.
So just so you know, Carjackers:
1) Pull up behind their victims in much nicer cars. Apparently they get bored easily and like to switch things up.
2) Instead of threatening to shoot you now they inform you something is “wrong” with your vehicle. I guess it’s just easier to try and get someone out of the car then to pistol-whip them. Would make for less cleanup!
3) To appear innocent they make outlandish claims that they are students….even go as far as to purchase official looking college textbooks and parking stickers from a nearby college. Hey, looks better to the cops…right?