Coming of Age….As An Adult.

It seems that we spend a good amount of our lifetime hitting milestones. Parents love to go on about their children and their accomplishments. As children we look forward to that first bike, first day of middle school (junior high when I was going), first date, first kiss, driving, first car, and so on and so on. Then eventually we become adults and the rites of passage change. Sure there is the marriage (well, for some of us anyway), house with picket fence, 2.5 children and the family pet. But there is another rite of passage that we rarely talk about until we are in the senior citizen home. The people around us start dying.

One could argue that some of us experience death from the time we are born. While this is certainly true, we don’t experience it the way we do when we hit our 30’s or 40’s. It is as if we are experiencing a massive change in the universe. Suddenly our comfortable little world is not as comfortable as we once thought. When people we have known begins to die off…there is a huge sense of mortality. For parents, we experience something similar when we begin to have kids. Suddenly we begin to wonder what will happen if tomorrow we passed on. There isn’t a sense of worry about ourselves but concern for the safety of our children…whom are still very vulnerable and unable to care for themselves. But what I am talking about is a bit different. As we age we suddenly realize that we aren’t that far away from the grave. For some this is a very scary moment of realization. Perhaps people who once were sure what happens when they die… question if that is true. Not to mean that their beleifs are a lie, just that they question it. It’s natural, who really wants to find out that their bodies rot and decompose in the ground. If any of my readers are true atheists…I can see that they would be perfectly fine with that. “I say true” because I have met some atheists who are more into the “i hate all religions” phase of their life instead of the “i just can’t beleive in a deity” ideaology. For those of us who have some sort of beleif on the afterlife it is a bit different. Since we follow something with no scientific tangible proof it definetly leaves room to question.

My husband and I have a funeral to attend today. The gentleman that passed is the grandfather of one of my husband’s friends. This is a man that all of the kids in this particular circle of friends thought of as their own grandfather. It is very much as if my husband has lost a blood relative. I have noticed that since hubs has gotten the news two days ago, he is struggling. His sense of mortality has become very real over the past two years. Although people aren’t dropping off like flies, people whom he is close to and those who are about his age have died. He has already been struggling with his spirituality and I don’t know that this has helped. When I step back and really think about it, this is just another milestone in his life. In another 30 years death will become such a common discussion for us that he will forget all about how mortal he feels now.  This is what I would equate to a “training session” for old age. Prep for it now so that when he is 70+ years old he will be awaiting his death with open arms.

So if your in your 20’s, know that there will come a morbid time in your life. Somewhere around your 30’s or 40’s. People will start dying a bit more often and you will be left prepping yourself for your own. Feel the emotions, work through them….and understand that it is just another milestone of life.


~ by alegna75 on March 14, 2009.

3 Responses to “Coming of Age….As An Adult.”

  1. A work friend of mine put it the best, I think:

    “In my family, when we have a funeral, the oldest people sit up front, and the youngest in the back. What bothers me about this arrangement is that I am getting entirely too close to that fuckin’ casket.”


  2. Very true, as someone in her late 30’s I’ve been to far too many of these. All of my grandparents are gone. My husband’s father is gone. My parents are getting older (59 and 62 so not THAT old but still), MIL is turning 70 this year and not in the best of health. My husband has a bunch of elderly aunts and uncles that aren’t going to last forever. It really does make you evaluate your own mortality. I don’t like getting old sometimes, but yes I guess it beats the alternative.

  3. @verybadcat lmaooooo that is too hilarious!

    Tricia thanks for the comment. I feel for ya!

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