Are You A Sexual Prude?
Prude – noun
|a person who is excessively proper or modest in speech, conduct, dress, etc.|
1695–1705; < F prude a prude (n.), prudish (adj.), short for prudefemme, OF prodefeme worthy or respectable woman.
Interesting. So now think about it, are you a prude? I am fairly modest in dress, mostly because I don’t find my belly fat that attractive. I have nice legs so when the mood strikes me, I show them off. Not necessarily in daisy dukes, maybe in a skirt above the knee type ordeal. I talk about sex ALOT. Really, I can make absolutely anything sexual. My sex life is somewhat healthy. I am 100% positive that my husband would disagree lol. But considering that I can indulge at any time that I want (with hubby of course!) I have no reason to complain. So far I don’t sound like a prude. But wait, I might be an in-the-closet prude. I personally hate to see two people sucking each others tongues down their throat. I don’t mind seeing affection and PDA but when it borders the line of being a clothes-on porno I start to get grossed out. I am not offended by porn shown in the privacy of the home (with young eyes in bed AND asleep), seeing hookers on the street, sexually oriented magazines or strip clubs.
There is a major epidemic in the United States. We are sexual prudes. In other countries it is common for billboards and tv to use nudity. When I was an infant we lived in Germany and almost all ads used nudity (we were stationed from 1975-1978 in Frankfurt). Imagine what would happen if a local jewelry store or restaurant put up a billboard of a fully naked man/woman on their billboard here in the US. We can’t handle Janet Jackson’s nipples on the tv screen let alone a nude billboard! People are offended at breastfeeding. And people get kicked off a plane because their clothes are too short (although I kinda have to agree with that. I don’t want to see anyone’s underwear or vagina as they attempt to sit down). Why is it that we have all of this “opression”?
I could argue that it does lie with our Puritan roots. The Puritans were pretty well known for saying that sex was strictly for reproduction and only performed missionary style. I personally doubt that all Puritans held fast to that rule. But regardless I think it was ingrained in us for a very long time. Sadly, it is time that we let go of that thinking. I don’t know that everyone dressing like a hooker and flocking to the nearest strip club is going to be the answer. But I do think we need to stop being so concerned with our bodies. Children go to museums and giggle because they see statues and paintings of naked people. This is only because they have been taught that the body isn’t to be naked. And I don’t mean that we should suddenly become a nudist society, but let’s start embracing ourselves in a healthy manner.
When my children were discovering their body parts one of the things I could not stand was to use cute names like wee-wee or coochie. No, my kids learned the proper terminology of their body parts. It amazes me that so many people are offended by that. Is there something wrong with saying Vagina or Penis? No…it’s a freaking body part. Just like an arm or a leg or an ear. And that is where the beginnings of our “opression” starts. Kids are amazingly wise and although they won’t sit in therapy at the age of 6 saying “My mother forced me to call my penis Mr Winky and now I can’t stop naming my body parts…..” they do pickup from our cues and language (including body language) what we think is appropriate or not.
My 9 year old and I have begun discussing sex. Some people are bothered by this. Obviously, I am not. For starters I want us to form this bond where she knows she can come and talk to me about things. Education has been and always will be the key. People say that kids learn about sex too young, I say I am teaching my children about life. They see things everyday whether it’s on tv or out in society. Do I ignore the issue and let her “learn” from her peers? Hell no! And before anyone starts forming their comment about sexual discussions being too adult, you can have discussions that are appropriate to your child. You have to know your child and know how much to answer. I don’t have to go into great detail…and trust me if she wants to know she just flat out asks.
This brings me to…..sex education. It is VERY apparent that abstinence education is simply not working. Anyone who has a child as young as 1 years old can tell you what happens when you say to a child “Don’t do it”. Yea, they totally do it. It’s natural, it’s human nature, it’s how a child learns. If my kids never tempted fate (and I don’t mean run out in front of cars or a speeding train)I would seriously worry. And as they grow older, a veteran mom can tell you that they start to figure out what is too dangerous to tempt and what isn’t. One of my favorite arguments to hear against teaching children about sex, condoms, birth control, etc etc is that it tells kids that it’s ok to have sex. I have even heard this argument for a reason to not vaccinate their child for HPV. If you are teaching your kids about these important things and doing it to where they think that it’s ok to have sex….your doing something totally wrong. And seriously, it takes just one time for a “mistake” to happen. I would much rather equip my children with knowledge that could save their life.
I can understand how any parent wants to put their kids in a little bubble and save them from the nastiness of our world. I grapple with this alot. I did not enjoy having to talk to a 4 year old girl about sex movies that she heard about in daycare or explain to any one of mine why someone would murder their own child. But it’s life. We can’t hide it from them. We need to be open and honest and let them learn from it.
So….I don’t know if I concluded anything but interjected my own opinions. I can’t even conclude if I am guilty of being a prude. I have always considered myself conservatively liberal (or liberally conservative) so I guess I could say that I am on middle ground with sexuality.