Personal Evolution

So yesterday Kyle and I went to the UU101 class. If you have stumbled upon this blog, I have been visiting a UU church lately. The class was about the history, their core beleifs, and some of the programs they have available. It was quite informative and  now I understand why they are still classified as a Christian church (the roots of the church are embedded in Christianity). Even so, things still clicked with me. We broke off into smaller groups to sit and discuss our own personal journies and why we were interested in UU. No one in my group was pagan and not one of them batted an eye when I proclaimed my beleifs. For that matter an atheist was sitting next to me and much of her ideas I could appreciate. So I came away from the entire class feeling secure and comfortable with any person in that room. Kyle had a different feeling from it all. Nothing negative. He just felt it was more of a social club for eclectic spiritualists as opposed to a church. I had to giggle because when I visit a more right-wing church with him, it feels to me more like a social club than a church. Anyway, I have joined as a member and he has not.  Oddly enough he is sort of drifting from anything religious in any way right now. He hasn’t visited a church in about 3 weeks now. And while he hasn’t been an avid church goer I can see that he is just totally confused on every aspect of his beleifs. I feel horrible for him and I wish I could help him….but I don’t really know what to do at this point. We talk about every other day about his issues but I am at a loss for words. I can’t tell if he is just hanging on to the inconsistencies that bother him so much or if he is encountering some sort of mid-life spiritual crisis. I have been meditating alot and sending lots of positive vibes his way. I just hope it helps him soon.

Anyway, I took a step back yesterday and took a look at my own evolution. I am quite pleased with my spiritual growth to be honest. I don’t think I have ever felt more secure with me spiritually then I have before. And isn’t that a pleasant change given the tone of my last post? I still have areas that need to grow but at least I know exactly what those areas are. I spent way too long lost and searching in all of the wrong avenues. And the entire time I was trying to be someone that would be accepted by the majority. I was close-minded and blindly opinionated about things that I don’t think I ever understood. I just repeated the things that I had heard with no real way to back myself up. Now I no longer care if anyone cares or expects a detailed explanation. My spirituality is mine and no one elses. Unless somehow my children are dragged into it by immature individuals, then I care for their safety. But I haven’t stressed about that as much anymore. Not after the last experience.

P.S. no word from DSS so I don’t think that the woman ever falsely reported me.

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~ by alegna75 on January 11, 2009.

One Response to “Personal Evolution”

  1. Glad you’re feeling more secure in things… but sorry your husband is drifting. That’s got to be rough. Actually I know it is, because not too long ago mine was having some issues. Not the same ones of course, but stressed out over a bunch of things and was being pulled in 50 directions at the Church and got burned out… Thankfully it’s gotten better though. Good luck.

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