Rantings & Memories
So yesterday was my anniversary. I have to say it drives me nuts when people still call us “newlyweds” and then tell me I don’t know what married life is really like yet. I have known Kyle for 14 years and we have been together 13 years. I was just seriously scared to marry him so it was in our 11th year when we finally did it. The person yesterday who tried telling me I didn’t know what married life was really like yet….well when I told her how long we have been together was like “Oh yea but now you all live together”. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA we have been living together for about 9 years. I just shook my head and walked off. Why is it people want to tell you what married life is like? I mean if I was 20, naive, never lived with anyone at all…..ok I can see discussing those tiny things that end up irritating you in the long run but appear to be adorable right now. But seriously….all I ever hear is about how HORRIBLE marriage is. It’s not that we don’t fight (gawd only every other day), it’s not that we don’t get on each other’s nerves (which leads to our fighting), I wouldn’t have married him though if he was that horrible. I mean I REALLY got to know him before we were officially married. In our own eyes we have been married for a long time even though there wasn’t documentation.
And how about the issue of weddings. When we decided to get married I did not want a big ceremony. I wanted to go to the courthouse with our kids and a witness and do it. The reason is, I am pretty private about my emotions. I do not like having all eyes on me at all. Ok well let me back up for a second, I got pregnant after we announced our engagement. My sis was getting married and so I took a back burner so she could have her wedding and it be all about her. My mother (and remember we have had two kids already, preggo with #3 by this point) actually says we need to hurry up and have a big wedding before the baby comes. WHY???????? Already had 2 out of wedlock, why the hell worry about it now? We been together 10 years at that point, why the hell a big rush to do it? I wanted to do it when and where I wanted. I did NOT want to do anything while pregnant. Then I mention we were going to the justice of the peace. You would have thought I just started WWIII. Even non family members told me how much I would regret not having a wedding (yea I can honestly say no I wouldn’t have). So out of guilt of jilting my dad the pleasure of walking me down the aisle we decided to have a big wedding with the understanding my parents were paying for it since we could not afford a wedding (they left us with a 10grand bill).
So baby comes in July 2005 and I start planning in Nov 2005 for an October 2006 wedding. I grabbed the last date available in October at the site I wanted. If you noticed in yesterday’s pictures there was a beautiful view of the mountains. That was pretty much what sold me. In the process of planning I sorta enjoyed it but really dealing with my family drove me nuts. Kyle’s family has been and always will be amazingly supportive in all my endeavors. They didn’t see a point in a big wedding either but they participated and helped out as much as possible and not once complained or called me a Bridezilla. Matter of fact they were shocked to even hear that term and me associated. Yes, I was very organized. I thought of every major detail. Not once did I freak out though over something not going my way. Let’s face it, I met my husband while WORKING in the wedding industry (he was a groomsman in 3 weddings in a 12 month time period). I KNEW things would go wrong, I KNEW I would run into brick walls. I tackled each thing head on and didn’t sweat the small stuff. The only thing that REALLY pissed me off was my sister and her insistance of having a drinking bachelorette party. I didn’t even want a party let alone with drinking (I am not one who drinks a whole hell of a lot since I busted my ass to recover from a drug problem). Then on top of that, when she got drunk she started talking about a major suprise I had in store for my husband whom was sitting next to me. Great! Thanks! And I am the bridezilla???? I told my sis and my bridesmaids to pick out their own dresses for the wedding, two of my bridesmaids wanted to do their own hair and makeup (fine by me, I wasn’t going to insist they spend money on something they didn’t want). It all turned out great…..yet according to my family I was the bridezilla.
Was the wedding a success? Yes! Everyone had a great time, the food was awesome, the ceremony was ok. It wasn’t that it was bad but remember how I said I didn’t like all eyes on me. I did not like standing there professing some very private emotions to a room full of people and they all stare at me. No I did not like it at all. If I had to do it all over again, I would have done it at the courthouse. As a matter of fact when we renew in 3 years (something I told him I wanted to do every 5 years so we an remember how important we are to each other) we are going to do it with a minister on a mountain top and just our kids. No one else.
Oh and that surprise that got ruined?? Well here is the back story. For some reason my girls had been telling daddy for years that he was on the Dark Side and I was on the Light Side. So when I walked down the aisle, The Imperial March played. For non-starwars/scifi geeks (my hubby is one!) that is the theme song that plays whenever Darth Vader showed up on screen. HAHAHAHA I have to say after listening to bagpipe music playing for the wedding party than THAT to start playing was hilarious. All our friends busted up. Several older people kinda giggled and stared at each other like I lost it. Oh well!
Now I can’t rant over the wedding day and not point out the many positives. For one we had gorgeous fall weather. I had wanted a Halloween wedding and have everyone show up in costume but hubby said no. We then talked about a renaissance wedding but my sis did that and it appeared to be a real pain in the butt, I wanted simple. So we did a celtic theme with our colors to be Claret (a form of red), Black and White. My dress had red trim added to model after a dress I really wanted that could not afford. My tiara had red stones added and my veil had red crystals added to give it some sparkle. My mother in law hand made Claire’s dress and she was a flower girl/bell girl. She carried my toss bouquet and a bell and pronounced “The Bride is Coming”. She loved that role! Molly wore a purple dress, she didn’t want to be in the procession so my mother in law let her pick out what she wanted to wear and made it for her. Hubby’s nephew Canter was adorable in his little tuxedo. We added a handtying with red cord to our ceremony, sort of like handfasting but not in the traditional sense. We had to incorporate Kyle’s Christian beliefs and my Pagan beliefs into the ceremony which wasn’t very easy. Our minister was wonderful! She came up with a ceremony about twilight, this wonderful sense of being between a beginning and end. Our rings Kyle picked out. We wanted celtic knot rings and in the US it is expensive. I found a site online that came from Canada. Not only did they handmake the rings, they handmade a new rod thingy(what the hell is it called again?) to make Kyle’s ring on (he has big fingers). The rings cost us a whopping $500 for both! I still love looking at my ring. I bought candles out the wahzoo and had them everywhere. OUr cake was gorgeous! A friend made it at her bakery. She hadn’t done celtic knotwork before and I am very proud of how well she did for a first timer. There was large heart knotwork and then she took the knotwork from our rings and made borders with it. I didn’t want to cut it LOL! In the end, our gorgeous day cost us around $14,000. What my family paid for and his family paid for was probably around another $2,000…I am not sure it was even that much. These days, thats a fairly cheap wedding. When people see our wedding pictures they tell me it looks like it would cost more lol. But I did alot of hands on work with this wedding, I am cheap and wouldn’t be any other way!