Regrets?

I am a Myspace whore. Right now all I can think of is playing that dam Mobsters game. Usually however my area of major whoredom are the bulletins. Ya know, the ones written by a 12 year old boy with an insane amount of free time and hormones raging faster than a speeding bullet train in Japan. And if your a sucker and do these Myspace bulletins, like me, you always notice that each one has the same question. It’s like the Myspace gods would be angry if this one question wasn’t in a Myspace bulletin. That question is “Do you have any regrets?”. My answer, well when I am not being a major sarcastic bitch (thats my side role to Myspace Whore), is always NO.

Now I am not someone who has led a life of ease. I haven’t had things handed to me on a silver platter. I started drinking when I was 13, smoking ciggs and pot by 14 and I was on LSD and PCP by age of 16. I was also living on the streets for a period of time doing what any teenage girl would. Party all night, doing horrible things to score the drugs, getting wasted, sleeping all day….and sleeping whereever I passed out at. I didn’t grow up in a family that was well to do. Everything I have ever had I have had to work for. I have done some things I am not necessarily proud of but it all led me to where I am today. Why regret that? I am happy. I have found a guy who accepts me for me and loves me wholeheartedly for it (although I have spent hours wondering why he loves me so). I have 3 really awesome kids. Yea they got their bratty moments. At times I wanna run screaming and pulling my hair out at their antics. But they are smart, well loved, pretty well adjusted, and I am proud to say I haven’t killed them yet! So why on earth would I regret my life? I have learned so much more about me, the world, and life from my horrid teen years then anyone could have possibly prepared me for.

When I was 15, I had an interview with NSA. I was in a computer course at the time, scoring A’s (although high as a kite most of the time) and pretty much helping out my fellow students learn the programs we were learning (Lotus, COBALT….takes ya back doesn’t it?). My teacher arranged for this interview. I was offered internship with one condition. I get my grades up to a C average (even with that A I was pulling in an E {F if your in the south}). Once I was out of high school I woulda had a job doing computer programming and raking in 20k my first year. This was 1990. I didn’t do it. Couldn’t, me being stoned was more important. Do I regret not fixing myself up then? Nope. If I had, yes I would be alot more successful than I am..financially. But that isn’t what success is about. I wouldn’t have met my husband and I wouldn’t have had my kids. I wouldn’t have learned half of what I learned those 3 years after. I needed the psychiatric units and the drug rehabilitation centers to help me find me. A job wouldn’t have done that.

I am in school now. I am not doing the computer programming bit, although I did give it some thought. No, I am in the accounting program. I am an accountant now. I love every minute of it. I appreciate it so much more. Are there things I wish I did, sure! I even have my own Bucket List (and no, I did not see the movie lol).

  • Take a trip to Egypt
  • Be in a demolition derby
  • go bobsledding
  • go to the Stanley Hotel and investigate it for paranormal activity (I love ghosthunting!)
  • go to the St. Augustine Lighthouse and investigate that as well
  • go white water rafting at the Grand Canyon (as long as I don’t have to be on top of the canyon I am good!)

Anyway, i think I am going off topic here. Before you say you regret doing anything in your past, think about it first. Maybe you will realize that while it may not have been your grandest or smartest moment, it brought you to where you are today and that is a good thing.

And for you fellow Myspace Whores, you can find me at www.myspace.com/apcandlelady

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~ by alegna75 on July 28, 2008.

 
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