RSVP?? What’s that????
This past weekend I had a double birthday party for my son and hubby. For hubby, his part of the deal was a big surprise. So inviting people became a pain in the tushy trying to make sure he didn’t know who i was inviting and talking to. I had invited about 50 people to this shindig. And as usual, I rarely got an RSVP’s. I got a couple yes and a few no’s. But over 30 people left me hanging on what the hell was going on. This is not the first time we have had a birthday party and are left wondering…do we have enough food??? Then discover we have 10 times too much!!! So I decided to do a short investigation on the habits (or lack thereof) of RSVP’ing. Before we go further let me say that I ALWAYS respond to an RSVP request. I don’t care to be left hanging, so I treat people the way I wish to be treated.
Anyway, i conducted two polls on Cafemom. One was in a journal post, the other I posted inside the polls section. I did this just to be sure that I got plenty of viewers. Of course doing it this way makes for interesting results. I have no way of knowing if someone voted in both polls or not. But for sake of argument, we will say that no one did. On the regular poll there were 18 votes. 66% said they rsvp every single time even to say no. 27% said yes but only if they were attending, otherwise they ignore the invite. 5% responded other , but left no explanation for the other response so we will guess that maybe it depended on their mood. Now on the journal post poll I got 12 votes. 33% said yes, they rsvp even to say no. 41% said they RSVP ONLY if attending. 25% said sometimes if they remember. Now let’s not look at numbers alone. I did have a few ladies comment and I would like to quote one or two of them here. On the journal post poll, Evan2007 said “Okay, I’ll admit it, I suck at sending RSVP cards. If it’s reply by email or phone, there’s a better chance that I will answer you one way or the other. I never send snail mail from my home after a few ‘never got there’ incidents, so its a special trip to the mailbox to send an RSVP card. I’ll admit, I’m just too lazy for that kind of reply.” Ok, I can actually understand this reasoning. Someone wants EASIER RSVP’ing options!! Momchipomkids pointed out “my SIL wedding…one she asked me to help do and then tried to get me to work at & serve guests…I didn’t RSVP b/c her brother (my hubby) was in it, she discussed things about the wedding all the time to me….then she got mad b/c we didn’t RSVP!” Great, ok…I get this too. My MIL made the bday cakes for our double party..I assumed she would be there. Can you imagine if I got mad at her for not RSVP’ing??? All other responses I got were in support of me, that YES it is RUDE to not respond to an RSVP. Unfortunatley I got no responses from anyone who avoids RSVP’ing for a birthday party. I would have loved to hear reasons why. So if any of you in my blogger land have any comments, PLEASE SHARE!! This isn’t to judge you, I am still trying to understand why people find it so hard to say yes or no. I mean personally I don’t take offense if someone says no. We all have lives, things come along that are maybe better (if you think I am taking a kid to a bday party with say Johnny Depp arriving in my hometown, you are NUTS!). But just say NO! Ok…I was drawing on my inner Nancy Reagan.
In the meantime, I am pretty much going to avoid inviting people who don’t rsvp. I will also allow the kids to invite a friend or two to go do a movie, rollerskating or to go to a picnic lunch for bdays. I refuse to stress over things like this anymore. People who don’t want to take the time to RSVP shouldn’t be invited to things like that anyway. It just made me so super sad to see that 90% of my hubby’s friends….the same friends I had to sneak around to contact…didn’t bother to show up to his 40th bday party. These are people that he hasn’t seen in at least 2 years. Had they said no, and I knew they were coming..I could respect that. But we had no idea. We had 15 people show up total (mostly family) and food for 40. So at least we ate good for a couple days.